Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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