just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
