They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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