you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
