Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
