i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
