Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
