Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
