Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
