I just cut my nipple shaving
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
