Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
