I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
