why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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