Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I accidentally burped into my bong.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
