My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
