so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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