I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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