Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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