He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
