His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
