I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
