I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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