your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
