Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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