I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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