We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
