I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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