She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
