i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
