"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Mom said you looked used
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
