We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
