Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
