They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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