Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
