Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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