Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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