Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
