I'm lost and stupid without you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize