8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Me. At least after what I've been through.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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