She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
