I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dick very happy bro
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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