i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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