Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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