I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
