About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
