i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I didn't notice because vodka
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
