there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
