i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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