I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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