I feel like abortions should bother me more
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
