Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
