Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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