Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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