Barsexuality is the new black.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
