Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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