I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
