She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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