Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dear god my vagina.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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