Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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