Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
