mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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